I recently saw a BBC article on the topic of deep listening. The context was conflicting opinions, but it was a good reminder of the benefits of good listening in all business communication. This blog looks at those benefits, explores what can make listening difficult and suggests some tips for making your approach more effective.
Benefits
Research suggests that experiencing high quality (attentive, empathic, and non-judgmental) listening can positively shape speakers’ emotions and attitudes (1). Feedback is about telling colleagues what you’d like them to change; listening and asking them open questions is more likely to make them want to change.
A study by the same team also found that managers who listen well are seen as people leaders, generate more trust, instil higher job satisfaction and increase team creativity (2).
It is also essential that leaders have all of the information that they need to make good decisions. However, there is a danger that the more senior one becomes in an organisation, the more that information is filtered. People may have their own agenda and nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news. Deep listening enables a leader to break down these filters, so that they can get back to the essence of what is really going on.
Barriers
If listening is so powerful, what stops us doing it more?
Sometimes we just feel too busy or distracted. At other times we may just choose not to. As an old boss of mine used to explain, people think it’s easier for them to influence others to change their opinion, rather than to make a change themselves.
Kevin Sharer formally CEO of Amgen and now a faculty member at Harvard Business School once explained in a McKinsey interview that senior leadership is a lot less about convincing and more about learning from his people. For him deep listening was what helped him to get key information, but it was more than that - it was also the greatest sign of respect he could give.
Listening then, is an investment decision - to get the benefits, we have to put the time in. One of the best leaders I’ve ever worked with, would often simply ask, ‘What do you think?’
What helps?
Like most things, listening is improved through practise. It needs training, persistence and effort. The baseline requirement is that you have to give 100% of your attention. If you can’t do that, postpone the conversation and have it when you can.
Put aside any distractions - phones, iPads, laptops, and look at the person you’re talking to. Communication is subtle and looking away, may mean you miss that important frown, shrug or look of frustration, that is key to understanding the whole conversation.
Recent challenges may make face-to-face conversations more difficult for a while. This means that we have to pay even more attention to what we’re hearing in a call or teleconference – hesitation, an emphasis on a word, or a change in volume or pace, may all indicate that something is going on with the speaker.
Good listening is much more than being silent and attentive. Another study suggests that the best listeners frequently ask questions to deepen their understanding and are active in creating a two-way dialogue (3). Try not to interrupt unnecessarily though. Often we only ask questions to surreptitiously make a judgement or impose our solution . WAIT - a nice little acronym for ‘WHY AM I TALKING?’ will help you think about that.
Check in frequently to confirm that you’ve understood correctly. Wherever possible use their words to summarise what you’ve heard. People are often taught to summarise in their own terms, but because individual words can be so emotive, there is a danger that jumping straight to your own interpretation without summarising precisely what you’ve heard first, can lead to a disconnect. Simply asking, ‘Have I got that right?’ will ensure you stay on track.
Summary
Leaders need to bring together a diverse range of experience, skills and perspectives to overcome the challenges that their businesses face. This is only the beginning, as once they’ve brought the right team together, they need to be able to draw out information in a way that builds honesty and trust. This means creating the conditions where good ideas and bad news can flow with equal speed and clarity. Deep listening makes that possible.
References
1 Itzchakov, G., DeMarree, K.G., Kluger, A.N. and Turjeman-Levi, Y., 2018. The listener sets the tone: High-quality listening increases attitude clarity and behavior-intention consequences. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(5), pp.762-778.
2 Itzchakov, G. and Kluger, A.N., 2018. The power of listening in helping people change. Harvard Business Review.
3 Zenger, J. and Folkman, J., 2016. What great listeners actually do. Harvard Business Review, 14.